by: Richie Watkins
Below is my pitch for a full-length biopic about the man who created Star Wars–George Lucas.
Set in the 1970s, a visionary filmmaker must deal with his shyness, and micro-managing, temperamental ego, in order to finish his magnum opus.
Forget what you read and heard about George Lucas; this is a different kind of truth. Lucas began as a stock car racer. But, one night, that all changed. He was racing his friend Choncy on a busy street. Lucas lost control of his car within seconds of starting, and crashed into a white-light photography studio. Upon flying headfirst into a giant camera, he realized that photography was his calling. So, he began taking pictures of anything and everything, including his shoes, random ceilings, and the Black Panthers. One night, while leading a protest in the streets of LA, the Black Panthers told Lucas, who was snapping pictures of an approaching group of police officers, “Golly whiz, George! You are so creative with that camera! You should make movies!”
Lucas had realized that he had forgotten what a movie actually was, for the crash damaged his memory. He could feel the viewing experience; he just couldn’t remember it. So, after one year, he reconnected with his friend Choncy, and they re-watched his favorite movie–17 straight hours of WWII planes flying back and forth.
After that viewing, he realized that the car/camera crash was a gift, not a curse. Up to that point, Lucas had felt directionless. His father continually nagged him to assume his “rightful” spot as the font-size-consistency analyst at the family-owned textbook factory. Inspired by his current life situation, he suddenly figured out an idea for a movie character–a farmboy who wants to go to space and fly a WWII plane. At that moment, the character Dirk Planetblaster was born.
Now, George has a vision for the greatest space opera of all time, he just can’t express what it is. And he’ll get mad at anyone who wrongly interprets it. Only through the power of funky song and dance can he express his ideas. What he needs, though, is the courage and gumption to do so, because he is battling introvertism and depression throughout the cursed production. Can Lucas conquer his inner battle in order to pull his adversarial cast and crew together in time to save a sinking ship? Or will his dream forever go unfulfilled?
Lucas: He won’t talk to any of the cast or crew because they are not speaking his language. Lucas has an uncontrollable sighing and eye-rolling problem when people don’t understand words he just makes up on the spot. “Romulate with sector 12 of the proceduring” is his most used, misunderstood phrase. He is a gifted singer and dancer, but his shyness is what holds him back from using such talents. Lucas is the epitome of an eagle struggling to fly.
He would be played by zero-time Academy Award winner John Travolta.
Concept art for the film.
Irvin Kershner: Calm, humble, and collected, Mr. Kershner serves as the mentor for Lucas. He shows Lucas the path to success as a filmmaker, and pushes him to walk it. In keeping with the current diversified casting trend, the future Empire Strikes Back director would be played by Faizon Love.
Alec Guinness: A world-renowned actor whose constant joking (which results in numerous outtakes), drives Lucas up a wall. He constantly makes fun of Lucas, more so than anyone else on set, for not being a communicative director. His frequent comedic jabs make him intimidating. While he’s impressed with the set designs, costumes, and effects, he thinks the story is a joke, and makes fun of that too. With the first-ever use of an interactive synthetic actor (created from stock footage of his various film and TV performances), Sir Alec Guinness would be played by Rodney Dangerfield.
An outtake from Star Wars:
Luke: “You know Obi-Wan Kenobi?”
Obi-Wan: “Obi-Wan? I tell ya, kid, I haven’t been called that name in a long time, ya know?! And I’ve been having sex with my wife for twenty years! I don’t know what it is with her; she’s young, but she always screws up my name in bed. Last week she called me Steve!”
Al Pacino–Makes a 5-minute special guest appearance as himself in one scene. At a New York restaurant, he meets with Lucas (whom, to Lucas’ chagrin, he calls “Georgie”) to discuss taking the role of Han Solo. At first, Lucas is excited that such a respected actor is interested in his film. Pacino proposes his idea for a scene with Han fighting a guy named Greedo (and his henchmen) at a bar. Pacino acts out the scene, feeding lines to Lucas, who is “reading” as Greedo. Pacino wants to impress Lucas, so he jump kicks a tray of food out of a passing waiter’s arms (while shouting, “HOOWAH!”), and pulls a gun. Pacino then tosses another gun to Lucas, and says, “And now you point the gun at me, and you say ‘You had your shot Han; now it’s my turn!’”. Lucas reluctantly says it, and Pacino, as Han, says, “No! I’m shooting first, you cockaroach!” Pacino fires 3 shots into the window behind Lucas. Upon hearing police sirens, Pacino flees. He traumatizes George, but also inspires one of the most iconic scenes in Lucas’s film.
The rest of the cast and characters:
Steven Spielberg…………..Steve Buscemi
Francis Ford Coppola ………….Eddie Murphy
Harrison Ford………………..Channing Tatum
Mark Hamill……………………Tobey Maguire
Carrie Fisher…………………Jennifer Love Hewitt
Stephen King………………….Gary Busey
Black Panther Leader………..Wayne Brady